FALSE CONFESSIONS OF A

TRUE HOLLYWOOD SCREENWRITER

SYNOPSIS

A book by Sharon Y. Cobb
Written by Sharon Y. Cobb
Directed by Sharon Y. Cobb
Produced by Sharon Y. Cobb

In Hollywood, there are no rules and they’re strictly enforced.

That’s one of the things Liz Bradbury learns during her eight long torturous years in Hell-A working as a professional screenwriter. You can’t get an agent until you don’t need one. You can’t sell a script until you’ve already sold one. Paradoxes of the movie business are driving her mad, or at least she is planning to use that as her defense when arrested for kidnapping.

Liz Bradbury is a woman who is a heroine in her own life. She writes strong female protagonists because she is a strong female protagonist. She moved back to her hometown in Florida to be with her family and bakes buttermilk biscuits from her great grandma’s recipe. She plays paintball and races formula cars. Liz is a Southern belle with a rebel yell.

Liz lives with Christopher, her ideal man and perfect marriage material. But every time she heads down the aisle, a catastrophe halts the wedding march. The first marriage attempt is thwarted when the Southern mansion where the wedding is being held explodes. The second attempt is postponed when Christopher ends up in a two-day coma after a rugby tackle goes wrong. The third time they decide to elope, but their plane crash-lands on the way to the private ceremony. Christopher is certain the fates are trying to tell them to forget about making it legal. Liz isn’t so sure.

She’s a screenwriter who aspires to be on the A-List, but in reality she’s on Hollywood’s F-U List. She pays her Writers Guild of America dues. She writes high-concept comedy. She works hard for her list of movie credits. She gets dumped by her agents.

But there must be some mistake. Wasn’t it her big female-driven action comedy, Jane Blonde, that only one month earlier had garnered the attention of every producer in town? Wasn’t it Jane Blonde that her agents said they sent to Katie Portman, Hollywood’s It Girl, to convince a studio to make the movie? And now her agents are giving other clients her studio writing assignments and they won’t return her calls, dismissing her like one of the UTBFs (Used To Be Famous) roaming the streets of Beverly Hills?

When chronic insomnia drives her to action, Liz writes a note to Christopher and hops a plane to Vegas where her friend, a former employee of the Dirty Tricks branch of the U.S. Government, equips her with a moveable arsenal. After a caffeine-laced iced blended mocha binge at a Coffee Bean on Beverly Drive, she storms her agents’ office and takes them hostage, along with their assistant.

Realizing the building will soon be surrounded, Liz escapes with her three hostages in the confusion of panicked evacuation. When she discovers the police can track the getaway car through its GPS navigation system, Liz commandeers another car at a café’s valet station. The valet, a former Mexican soap opera star, joins the kidnapping party after learning two of Liz’s hostages are agents he’s been trying to corner.

Suspecting her agents lied when they told her they sent Jane Blonde to Katie Portman and she wasn’t interested, Liz drives her abductees to Ms. Portman’s Bel Air mansion for a chat. After talking her way through the front gate and into the inner sanctum, Liz jails her entourage, along with a Portman employee, in the kitchen pantry.

Seeing Katie lounging by the pool, Liz convinces her that their agents set a meeting for them to discuss Jane Blonde. Only problem is, Katie never got the script from Liz’s agents. For once Liz wishes she had a copy of Jane on her person. Katie calls Gale Grazer, one of the producers who tried to set the movie up everywhere in town, and gets her to hand-deliver a copy. When Gale arrives with the script, the police aren’t far behind, having been tipped off by another Portman employee.

Hostages in the pantry. Katie Portman and Gale Grazer dying to do your movie. Police breaking in the front gate. What’s a girl to do?

Liz borrows a cherry ’57 Chevy from Katie’s stable of hot cars and takes the actress and producer on a ride they’ll never forget. After a siege and successful pitch meeting at a champagne bar with Katie, Gale, a studio head and action adventure director, Liz doesn’t even mind SWAT storming the bar.

Only in LA could crime run amuck have a deliriously happy Hollywood ending. False Confessions of a True Hollywood Screenwriter is an action-adventure comedy. It’s The Devil Wears Prada meets Jane Blonde. The tone is similar to the madcap romps of Carl Hiaasen with a dash of Janet Evanovich’s quirky chick-power plotting.

The story is about taking fate hostage, shaping your own destiny and never giving up.

Never.